February 2013...What?????

Wow....I cannot believe it is already close to the end of February.  Everything is moving so quickly.  I am almost finished with session A of my student teaching and I have learned so much about not only teaching but myself.  I have got to relax and trust GOD with His plan for me and what He wants me to do in my life.  I am so hard on myself and judge myself harder than anyone else would. I have to trust Him to make my path clear and just let Him led my steps.

Next I will be in a Special Education classroom that is self-contained.  This is where I feel most comfortable but I still have so much to learn.  For the past 5 1/2 years I have been the teacher's aide and not the teacher.  It is a shift not only in the natural but also the spiritual.  I am excited but also a little apprehensive.

Student Teaching!

Today was my first day of student teaching!  After 5 1/2 years of being a para-professional and going to school for the past 5 years, I began my student teaching and I am only months away from becoming a teacher and having my own classroom.  It was exciting and there was a great deal of anxiety.  God is so good and has provided so much support an encouragement preparing me for this day.  I am so excited to see what He will on a daily basis.  The staff and students at Pinkerton Elementary are so supportive and encouraging, they want what is best for me and are so ready to help.  Robin, Mary, Katie, Natalie and other are so great to help me in any way possible.

Already February

So it is already February and things are already crazy.  Why is it that things go KooKoo around a full moon or new moon?  What is up with that?  Does it have to do with the tides and the pull of the moon (4th grade science)?

My hubby and I are suppose to go to a marriage seminar on marriage and all I can think about is that it is Friday and I can sleep early and not wake up until 10:00 Saturday morning.

The youngest of the boys was suppose to have duty this week but it was called off due to lack of funds. Our good earned money at work?  The oldest boy is at a new job and acting like an adult.  So proud of him and his charge to bust out of this existence and make a new life for himself.

Happy New Year

I am so excited about new beginnings, a new year, and an opportunity to make changes physically, spiritually, emotionally, and behaviorally. I can only change myself and cannot expect for others to change because I want them to. I can only teach them a new way to treat me based on my behavior, which I can control and maintain.

Why do others want to blame you when they are slapped in the face with their own disfunction. Is it my fault that my choices are bringing theirs to the surface like a boil that needs antibiotics and a sharp pin to extract the infection. It is a gross analogy but appropriate for the context. My goal is to not react but take a breath and respond with dignity and a Christ-like countenance.

Cooking - a secret passion

I love to cook. I have mastered the perfect pot roast using Pioneer Woman's recipe and everyone in the family loves it. I can't seem to make the same recipe twice and constantly make changes. First meatloaf, then pot roast. What is next?

Christmas day

Today is Christmas and disfunction has set a new high. We father to eat in silence and then retreat to our corners.

My First Post

I am embarking on a quest to blog about things in my life.  They are only of interest to me but I hope they can help others in their life's journey.

  I am a married mother of two adult son's only one of which is still living at home. My oldest son Justin is 25 and is still in school trying to complete his degree and move on with his life.  His is what one would describe as a late bloomer and is still trying to learn to social and other skills necessary to work and live as an adult.

My youngest son, is a Marine in the reserves and the reason for all my wrinkles.  I seem to be the only one who can see past his charm and lies and see the motivation behind his challenging requests.

My husband of 26 years is my high-school sweetheart and it has been a challenging and rewarding partnership.  It was truly turned up side down when I entered therapy at the age of 39 because I am 5'10" and was 260 lbs, wanted lap-band surgery and wanted to find out why I could loose weight only to gain it back when I started receiving the slightest bit of attention from anyone.

Therapy has been an amazing journey and I would not have changed it for the world.  I have learned so much about myself in the parts of me that I love and the parts that I would love to tweek to make better.  Every week is an amazing opportunity to learn about myself, who God wants me to be, and how I am shaped because of the relationships that I have in my life.

What I have learned for the most part is that people are in our lives to either contribute to or make withdrawals from our soul.  They will speak life into us or speak death into our spirit if we allow them to.  My therapist is a gift from God.  She is a licensed minister of the gospel and a psychologist with a masters degree in social work.  She knows what abuse can do to the human spirit.  It is as if we are born as a full mirror and people and events shatter parts of us that are scattered around a room, therapy, deliverance, and prayer offer the glue that put the pieces of shattered glass together to form a perfect picture of ourselves as we see it and how Christ see's us.  We are also being formed into His image in the process.